Faith vs Fear

Concentrating on what might go wrong is the root of all fear. If you have trained yourself to identify possible catastrophes as a manner of self-protection, perhaps it’s time for an upgrade. When we move from fear to faith, we shift our focus to the present moment and realize that all we can do is what today is asking of us. Some call this a mindset of faith. Moving from fear to faith brings you to the present moment. Take a deep cleansing breath and have faith that when we live in the present moment, we find the solutions and next steps on life’s adventure.

Stay in your hula hoop

Your number one responsibility in life is YOU. That can be challenging to remember, especially when we have responsibilities to kids, partners, parents, employees, and co-workers. Being overly responsible, overly helpful and overly mindful of other people’s lives can put a toxic strain on ourselves. By taking care of things that aren’t actually in our hula hoop robs others of the ability to make choices, learn lessons and grow. What’s in your hula hoop?

The truth about little white lies

New clients in group therapy often say things they don’t mean in order to seem “nice.” Little white lies like “it’s fine” and “that didn’t bother me” can be harmful to you and others. Speaking your truth to others can be done with kindness and grace. Sharing who you really are is a profound act of self-love. Try group therapy and discover your authentic voice and self!

Should I really say it?

We live in an assertive culture that celebrates speaking up and helping others. We don’t often hear about the benefits of knowing when NOT to speak. Keeping quiet and letting others lead their own lives and make mistakes is giving them the dignity of their own experience. Next time you wonder whether or not to say something, ask yourself: Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said – right now? Does it need to be said right now – by me? If the answer is no – challenge yourself to keep quiet and see how events play out. By staying out of situations that don’t require our participation, we can invest our time and energy into our own life.

What is help-rejecting behavior?

Do you know someone who constantly complains about their life? How other people are treating them? How life isn’t working out for them? Maybe at times, this person is you. We all need to occasionally get things off our chest and blow off steam. Constant complainers, however, also have a habit of rejecting help. Help-rejecting behavior is a way that keeps people stuck, unable to move forward or feel fulfilled. They are so busy blaming the world they don’t see how they are getting in their way. Can you identify areas where you reject help? Challenge yourself to accept help when it’s offered! Help-accepting behavior is a form of self-love. It’s time to grow!

Contentment amongst chaos

No matter who we are or what we have or where we go, life will always have twists and turns, ups and downs. By learning to identify your true center is the key to feeling content – even amongst chaos. Like surfing on the crest of a wave ready to break, a centered, strong and balanced self is the key to enjoying life no matter what it brings. When you aren’t centered, you are at the mercy of people, places and things you can’t control. At GTLA, we believe group therapy is one of the fastest, most effective ways to find and exercise your center self. Contact us today and discover new abilities within you!

Keep the focus on yourself

We only have a limited amount of hours and energy each day. Where do you spend your energy and time? Do you think about other people? What they did or did not do? What they might or might not do? How they hurt or disappointed you or others? All of this is time and energy that you don’t get back. Thinking about someone else never changed anyone. Learn to focus on yourself. When you pour your time, energy and love into yourself, you’ll discover that you have the power to change your entire world.

What are you avoiding?

Do you avoid getting out of bed in the morning? Cleaning your house? Taking a walk? Studying for a test? All of these activities are examples of self-care that provide lasting, long term results. Sleeping in, staying home and watching tv provides short term relief, however, if you are looking for a healthy, expansive life and self: Do what you are avoiding!

Press through resistance

Often we resist doing the very thing that will change our lives for the better. When you are faced with extreme resistance, ask yourself, “what would I gain if I did this and everything worked out?” Whether starting a new exercise program or setting a kind but firm boundary with family members – when we press through resistance and do the thing we need to do, we get stronger, healthier and our lives expand in new and wonderful ways. Press through resistance and see how your life transforms!

Feelings aren’t facts

Feelings that accompany black and white thinking such as “I can’t do this” or “It will never work”, are just feelings not facts. Next time you feel overwhelmed, anxious, or angry, ask yourself “Is this a feeling? Or a fact?” Remembering that “Feelings aren’t facts” can help us make new choices, respond appropriately, and be brave enough to try new things.

Maintain Boundaries With Kindness and Grace

If someone doesn’t respect a boundary we have set, it’s up to us to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Maintaining our boundary is our job, not theirs. Yelling, freaking out, or explaining over and over to others why we need our boundary respected isn’t actually maintaining our boundary. For example: if someone keeps calling after we have asked them to stop, rather than losing our temper, we can simply block their number. Try maintaining your boundaries with kindness and grace, and discover new levels of self-esteem.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone

Set achievable goals

Would you rather be happy or right?

People learn lessons in their own way and timing. When you need someone to learn their lessons in your timing, you are trying to assert dominance and rob others of their free will. No one tries to get a baby to run a marathon. Let people discover things and grow when it’s right for them. Not when it’s right for you. Usually you will find that by giving others the freedom to exist and grow and make mistakes, we often receive those same freedoms in return.

Trigger warning

Sometimes we can experience or witness something that inspires very intense, overwhelming feelings. We are “triggered” often because we are reminded of a painful experience from our past that we still need to process. If you have triggers, working with a therapist can help lessen your pain and increase your ability to not only cope, but thrive.

4 Minute Meditation

Some emotions are too challenging to process on your own. What can you do when your therapy appointment isn’t until later but you need relief now? At GTLA we recommend this four-minute meditation by Kristin Neff to help patients experiencing difficult emotions. It is a panacea!! Practice self-care and try this meditation next time you need support.

https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/self-compassion.break_.mp3

Keep your side of the street clean

When we are in relationships, whether it’s with neighbors, family members or co-workers, sometimes what is actually your responsibility can sometimes be hard to see. Keeping your side of the street clean mean fulfilling your responsibilities in a healthy, clear, direct ways. What’s on the other side of the street is someone else’s responsibility. Life is simpler and more manageable when we are focused on our responsibilities and not others.

GTLA Speak – Self-full the healthy middle

Selfless is neglecting yourself for the sake of others. Selfish is when you are disregarding others’ needs entirely. Self-full is when you are taking care of your own needs…with awareness. Try being self-full for 3 days!

GTLA Speak- What Do I Do Now?

We can get overwhelmed/Stuck when we have a big project of even a big feeling. Sometimes we don’t know what to do next. If you take a moment, usually you will find there is one thing that needs to be done before everything else. Maybe it’s eating a sandwich before tackling anything more. Maybe it’s making a phone call to find out what needs to be done. By continuing to take the Next Indicated Action, you can feel confident that you are on the road to a solution.