Beyond Romance: Embracing Platonic Love in February

With the month of February right around the corner, the ideas of romance, couples, and love take center stage. Some couples embrace it, showing their love for their partner through chocolates, roses, or romantic candle-lit dinners; others dread it, claiming the day to be a construct of Hallmark commercialism. For singles, the day can feel painful and lonely. Regardless of where you stand on the spectrum, there is something to celebrate for everyone this February. While relationships typically preoccupy people’s minds around the 14th, platonic relationships shouldn’t be brushed aside. The mainstream “Galentine’s Day” and newer variations such as “Malentine’s Day” and “Friendship Day” celebrate the positives of platonic relationships. 

The Importance of Platonic Relationships

Just like healthy, committed relationships can improve subjective well-being and physical health, strong friendships are equally impactful. 

• Female Friendships: Women have a tendency to establish very emotionally intimate relationships with their female friends, and for good reason. Studies have shown that emotional disclosure within female friendships is correlated with better stress resilience, increased self-esteem, lowered risk of chronic illness, and overall higher levels of satisfaction in life. Moreover, the “tend-and-befriend” stress response is unique to women and causes them to respond differently than men when faced with environmental stressors compared to men. Oxytocin is released alongside stress hormones, buffering the fight or flight response and encouraging bonding with and tending to others. Translating to friendship, bonding with other women has a calming effect and counteracts anxieties.

• Male Friendships: Like the unique role of women’s female friendships, male platonic relationships serve a distinct purpose in improving mental and physical health. Whereas women tend to engage in emotionally close connections with their female friends, men often engage in extended peer relationships, ranging from sports teams, to online gaming, fraternities, and clubs. Research has shown that these types of peer relationships–which require less investment and lowered perceived pressure– can offer several benefits akin to female friendships such as camaraderie and stress mitigation. By bonding through shared group activities, men gain a sense of belonging and combat loneliness, serving a purpose parallel to womens’ emotional disclosure in their friendships.

Finding Balance

Platonic friendships should be prioritized in any individual’s life given the distinctive benefits they offer. However, if you are in a committed relationship, it can be more difficult at times to delegate time between your partner and friends. Investing too much or too little in either one can damage your relationship with your partner or your friends’ support system.  

1. Plan ahead: Routine “girls nights” on a predictable basis can ensure you are getting the necessary fix of your female friendships despite a busy schedule. Likewise, if you are part of a sports team or group that meets regularly, prioritize attending weekly or monthly to foster your friendships.
   
2. Set boundaries: Everyone needs a break from their partner or socializing at certain points. If you feel yourself craving alone time or time away from your partner, don’t be afraid to vocalize it. Allowing yourself time to recharge will strengthen relationship quality in the long run. 
3. Encourage group hangouts: Bring your partner, their friends, and your friends all together, if possible. Combining social circles can be a great way to get the  aspects of platonic and romantic relationships in one place.

Taking Action

“Friendship Day” can take many forms and can be unique to your group’s interests. The most important thing is that you get to spend time with the people whose company you most enjoy. Envisioning the day ahead of time can ensure your group is available and that the plan follows through. 

• Potlucks and group dinners – Hosting a “Friendsgiving” style feast in Valentine’s Day fashion is a great way to merge traditions and bond over good food. 
• Game Nights or Trivia – Everyone loves a little competition. Invite your friends for a poker night, trivia challenge, or card games for quality time together. 
• Sports Celebrations – Camouflage “Friendship Day” as a sports-themed watch party. Whether it’s a classic Super Bowl party, an NBA watch night, or a pickup game of soccer outside, bonding with your friends over sports is a great way to nurture your friendships. 

Regardless of how you decide to celebrate V-day, whether you are in a committed relationship or you are single, prioritizing your friendships all year-long will do wonders for your physical and emotional wellbeing. Platonic friendships bring an unparalleled joy to life and are a key component of strong emotional resilience, high self-esteem, and sense of belonging.