Navigating back-to-school anxiety

The start of the school year can be a very exciting time for kids, with new teachers, different classmates, and fresh possibilities. However, for many children it can also cause a spike in anxiety. A child’s average school day is filled with potential stressors: navigating friends, separation from parents, academic expectations, and social pressures. Even confident kids can become clingier or more nervous as summer ends, while those already prone to separation anxiety may feel it more intensely during times of transition.
Understanding the anxiety that can come with going back to school can be important for kids but also parents themselves, as supporting an anxious child can be taxing.

Back to school anxiety can arise for different reasons. The transition from the freedom of summer to a highly structured world of school can be stressful for children and teens, as not everyone experiences successes — whether socially or academically – in their school environment. It can be especially stressful if there’s a change in a child’s support system, like a friend leaving to go to a new school or a change in teachers.

The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety entirely but to help kids feel capable of managing it. Parents may be able to watch for signs that their kids are dealing with anxiety as they approach the first day – shifts in mood, isolation, upset stomach, sleep disturbance and high agitation – and respond accordingly. Parents should be especially thoughtful about listening to their child’s worries, whether this be a new teacher, homework, or friend crises, without putting their own stress on them. You can even help to strategize plans on how to handle these worries, so your child feels capable and more in control.

Parents can also do some test runs with their child. For instance, if a parent expects their child to be especially anxious during the upcoming transition to school, help give them time to get used to the new school or classroom in advance. You can go to the school several times before and walk the halls, locate their classrooms together, and play on the playground.

If you feel that your child needs extra support to have a successful transition, let someone at school such as their teacher or the school psychologist know. Having communication with the staff can be more reassuring for your child, but also in many ways yourself. It could help for parents to have support when their kids show anxiety or resist going back to school. If parents allow their children to avoid situations that make them anxious, that inadvertently reinforces that those situations are dangerous or scary.

Parents’anxieties may ramp up during the return-to-school period too. For parents, being in tune with your own stress levels and managing feelings during this time is important because children can pick up on emotions. If they sense you’re stressed or unavailable, they may feel less supported or even absorb your tension. Modeling calm and confidence can help your child feel more secure during the transition.